The only thing you always have control over is your own thoughts, feelings and behaviors. This is the Control Zone. You have control over your responses, your interpretations and how you will handle a situation. You have control over what you will do. To build conditions for success by unleashing your positive energy, center your actions on yourself and keep your energy focused in the Control Zone. By intentionally choosing your response to a given situation so that you remain in the Control Zone, you can have the most positive impact for yourself. For every specific event, there will be elements that you can control and elements that you cannot. If you’re thinking, “This is what I can do,” that’s good. You are feeding the positive wolf. You’re in the Control Zone, and you actually can have an impact and respond in a way that will be successful for you.
Let me give you an example about from my professional life to illustrate the benefit of getting into your Control Zone. When I first went into private practice, I spent a lot of time in the No Control Zone. I worried about what would happen if I didn’t get any clients, if no one wanted to hire me as a consultant and if I would make enough money. Lots of terrible images and scenarios played out in my mind: I wouldn’t be able to pay the bills; I’d lose my house; I’d be a total failure. Of course, I felt terrible. I then realized that I was completely stuck in the No Control Zone because all I was doing was worrying. My worry was not leading to any productive results, only sleepless nights.
Then I shifted my focus. I thought about what I could influence. In terms of my success with clients, I had responsibility for getting the best training possible and being as good a therapist as possible. I would continue to attend workshops and get supervision. In terms of my success as a businessperson, I could influence building my practice so it would be prosperous. I joined the local Chambers of Commerce and other groups so that I could effectively get the word out about my practice. I taught workshops and classes and advertised my services at those events. I designed and produced materials to help people find me, such as business cards, brochures and posters. None of these things guaranteed that someone would come to me as a client or that a company would hire me as a consultant, even if they saw my materials and heard me speak, but these things helped people learn that I was available and influenced their decision to hire me. I saw each of these activities as a positive step towards building a successful practice and as an investment in my future.
By taking charge of my own thoughts, feelings and actions, I moved into the Control Zone. I stopped worrying about the things that were outside of my control, such as the number of clients I had each week. Instead, I began to work on changing my negative that were clouding my vision. I appreciated my efforts to build my business and to invest energy and time in letting people know about what I do. I was grateful that my bills were getting paid, and I truly celebrated every success, no matter how big or small.
In Part Three, we will examine another way to show the relationship between your response and situation, and then we will sum up the three parts.