Do you find yourself unhappy? On a downward spiral? If so, maybe you have fallen victim to your beliefs. We all have bad days (and maybe even bad weeks), but the difference between a happy and unhappy life is how often and how long you stay there. And that depends on your belief sets.
According to University of California researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky , “Forty percent of our capacity for happiness is within our power to change.”
Here are six common beliefs of chronically unhappy people:
- Life is hard. Happy people know life can be hard and tend to bounce through hard times with an attitude of curiosity versus victimhood. They take responsibility for how they got themselves into a mess, and focus on getting themselves out of it as soon as possible.
- Most people can’t be trusted. Unhappy people are distrustful of most people they meet and assume that strangers can’t be trusted. Unfortunately this behavior slowly starts to close the door on any connection outside of an inner-circle and thwarts all chances of meeting new friends.
- It’s important to focus on what’s wrong in this world versus what’s right. There’s plenty wrong with this world, yet unhappy people turn a blind eye to what’s actually right in this world and instead focus on what’s wrong. Happy people are aware of global issues, but balance their concern with also seeing what’s right. Unhappy people tend to close one eye towards anything good in this world in fear they might be distracted from what’s wrong. Happy people keep it in perspective. They know our world has problems and they also keep an eye on what’s right.
- Someone else’s good fortune steals from my own. Unhappy people believe there’s not enough goodness to go around and constantly compare yours against theirs. This leads to jealousy and resentment. Happy people know that your good luck and circumstance are merely signs of what they too can aspire to achieve. They believe in unlimited possibilities and don’t get bogged down by thinking one person’s good fortune limits their possible outcome in life.
- I need to strive to control your life. Happy people take steps daily to achieve their goals, but realize in the end, there’s very little control over what life throws their way. Unhappy people tend to micromanage in effort to control all outcomes and fall apart in dramatic display when life throws a wrench in their plan. Happy people can be just as focused, yet still have the ability to go with the flow and not melt down when life delivers a curve-ball.
- My future has me worried and fearful. Unhappy people fill that head space with constant worry and fear. Happy people experience fear and worry, but make an important distinction between feeling it and living it. When fear or worry crosses a happy person’s mind, they’ll ask themselves if there’s an action they can be taken to prevent their fear or worry from happening (there’s responsibility again) and they take it. If not, they realize they’re spinning in fear and they lay it down.
So dump the negative belief sets and start practicing positive habits daily.
(Adapted from an online Huffington Post article.)