You know what you want to achieve, but you are not making any progress. You feel stuck. You know what to do, but you are not doing it. You are stuck. Why does this happen, and what can you do about it?
For starters, you can’t get from point A to point B if you don’t know where you are going. Too often, you’re stuck because unfocused desires bring unfocused results. The key: Focus. Take dating as an example. The very nature of dating is an opportunity to generate greater clarity and focus. Do you, or someone you know, simply go out on dates as if you are going through the motions? An alternative is to approach each date as an opportunity to learn more about who you are and what you want in a mate. If the date is successful, focus on what made it work. If the date is a failure, learn from the contrast of what you didn’t like to gain awareness of what you do like. The same process works for job searching, house hunting, and clothes shopping. To flow again requires gaining clarity on your wants, needs and desires.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you are stuck because you are trying to control the outcome of a circumstance that is really in your “no control zone?” If so, it’s time to follow the 24-hour rule. Take a step back and make a decision to do nothing for the next 24 hours. After that time, revisit the situation. Do you see things from a different angle? Are you able to shift from a problem-focus to a solution-mentality? Do you feel less emotionally invested? Do you find yourself aligned with your inner being? Can you call on intuition as well as reason? Often times, you can get back into the flow by deliberately deciding to do nothing. When inaction is a choice rather than a reaction, it can work in your favor.
Are you a person who holds onto grudges? Do you feel resentment? Do you want to get even? This type attitude is bound to keep you stuck. Why? Because you are holding on to situations from the past that are over and done with. If this is your approach to life, you need the F word: forgiveness. The key to forgiveness is letting go of the past so you are free to live in the present and the future untethered by negative feelings. (For more on forgiveness, see the series on this topic from June and July, 2010 in this blog.) Whether an act of wrongdoing is momentous or petty, forgiveness is a behavior that removes the obstacles from your energy flow. It is as if your energy is no longer dammed up. You can breathe and get on with things.
The next time you feel stuck, don’t just stay stuck. Find your focus, choose a 24-hour period of deliberate inaction, and forgive others (and yourself) of any past resentments. Now go ahead and flow forward!!!